Shelby is sick again today...101 fever, burning tummy and now, a sore throat and hurting all over, she says. I have to admit that after one or another of us being sick since Thanksgiving this Momma's patience is running thin. Then I read Ann Voskamp's post today and (as usual) heard exactly what I needed to hear. Here I had given Shelby a sippy cup of water and let her sleep in my bed, but not comforted her. Given her space to get some rest, but not tenderly cared for her. I am not gifted in that area, but that is no excuse. My Grandma Shelby was the best caregiver in the world when I was sick. Plush pallets, snack plates, reading and coloring materials, and all the TV I could watch with her at my beck and call.
"Grandma, I think warm chocolate pudding would feel really good on my throat. I think I need some chicken noodle soup with the chicken picked out, Grams. Malt-o-meal, Grandma, I need malt-o-meal with extra butter and sugar."
"Ok, honey, what else can I get you?" She made it so comfortable for me to be home sick that I have to admit I faked it quite a bit just so I could stay home with her and watch soap operas and be pampered. Who wouldn't, given the option? My mom was a single mom and stuck between a rock and a hard place knowing my grandma would call me in sick and not wanting to be the bad guy that forced me to go to school, so she allowed it. That must have been so hard for her.
Somewhere between the grandma Shelby treatment and the sippy cup of water in my bed, there is a happy medium where we can and should tend to those we love without pampering them. We check to make sure they are really sick and when they are, we treat them extra tenderly. We show them they are special and that our schedules are so much less important than their sweet little souls. We slow the clock and give them the attention they need. I think that is what Ann's post was saying. I needed to read it today.
It is ironic that I have always had sweet people in my life who go out of their way to take care of me even when I don't ask. I had my doting grandma when I was young and as an adult, God has sent special friends into my life who are insistent...persistent about helping us when we are sick or in need. I had an amazing handful of friends in Kansas who would do just about anything for me. When I was blessed to live close to my Momma, she took care of us.
Like I said, I am not gifted at doing the same. I have asked friends time and again why they want to be my friend because I feel like I don't do a great job of being a good friend. I haven't exactly honed my friend skills yet. It doesn't always come naturally to me or even occur to me how to meet other's needs, yet I do try in my own meager way and still, God blesses me more than abundantly with people who insist on helping our family. He knows we won't usually ask, so he sends them to us as a free gift of his grace, mercy and provision. Remember these peeps? And these? We haven't been able to repay either of them and have probably had many missed opportunities. They expect no repayment but we still need to pray for God to reveal opportunities for us to serve them.
Like I said, I am not gifted at doing the same. I have asked friends time and again why they want to be my friend because I feel like I don't do a great job of being a good friend. I haven't exactly honed my friend skills yet. It doesn't always come naturally to me or even occur to me how to meet other's needs, yet I do try in my own meager way and still, God blesses me more than abundantly with people who insist on helping our family. He knows we won't usually ask, so he sends them to us as a free gift of his grace, mercy and provision. Remember these peeps? And these? We haven't been able to repay either of them and have probably had many missed opportunities. They expect no repayment but we still need to pray for God to reveal opportunities for us to serve them.
It is funny how I feel like the parable of the insistent friend is being played out upside down in my life. It is ironic that I happened to have this story on display in our main room in my Tomie DePaola Parables of Jesus children's book. I love his illustrations.
Many children's book illustrations serve as art in our home. Notice Captain Kangaroo below.
Many children's book illustrations serve as art in our home. Notice Captain Kangaroo below.
In the parable, a friend comes asking for help at midnight and is turned away, but his persistence gets his friend's attention and he finally helps him. It is the parable Jesus tells right after he tells us how to pray and I know it relates to our relationship with God, but it can also be applied to earthly relationships. In our case, we aren't begging for help and being turned away, we have a few friends who insist on blessing us even when we say we don't need help. These people are amazing.
They are gifts from God.
One of them, I met right away when we moved here and we immediately connected because we both have chronic health conditions and know the feeling of being avoided because of it. She moved outside of town recently, but before she did, she'd pop in randomly and brighten our day with a random gift, good conversation or invitation to go garage saling. Last week she showed up with groceries she insisted we take. She was at Aldi and asked if I needed anything because she was going to stop by and see me while she was in town. I said that 2 soy milks would be awesome. Instead she dropped off a load. I was blown away.
Our newest friends have brought us chicken soup when we are sick, brought over a full spread to feed us all, and wrapped us in love since we met them. Today, I told my friend that Shelby wouldn't be at dance so we wouldn't be able to walk together and she dropped the stuff below off on our back porch without us even asking. So incredibly thoughtful. So humbling.
It is also humbling because {moment of truth...get ready to judge me} I had just been feeling sorry for myself because I have felt like really only people who are new to Enid have showed any interest in being our friends. There is only one couple from Enid who has invited us over since we moved here. Make that two, kind of, because another sweet couple took us out to dinner. Our kids have been invited to things, but we haven't. Still, me feeling sorry for myself is ridiculous because we do have friends. Just thinking about the 3 families above, not counting our newest friends who just moved here, we are so blessed. We are making more friends all the time.
Most of them are new to Enid, but who cares?
Some people live their entire lives unnoticed. We have been given the gift of real friendship. Transparent, unconditional, selfless friendship. May I truly be grateful for that! AND, even more, may I reciprocate! I want a servant's heart. Sometimes I feel like I have one and others I feel like the most selfish woman on the planet. Maybe we all do...I want to be an insistent friend though. Not insistent that others help us, but insistent that we help them, even when they try to refuse. Enid is a small town and people are very private. we have offered to help others in several situations and been turned down. Maybe we need to be more insistent, just like our wonderful friends have. Just like Jesus is. Even when we try to refuse Him, He presses is and covers us with His love.
Let us be more like Him.
