Hold my hand, or I'm gonna have to carry you...

A parking lot is just about the most dangerous place a toddler can wander into. Their excitement about being able to walk on their own coupled with their undeveloped sense of awareness of the consequences of their actions is a recipe for disaster if they don't have someone there to protect them. So, we parents often say to our little ones, "Hold my hand in the parking lot, or I am gonna have to carry you." {How many times have I said that phrase in the past 8 years?}

And, if they refuse to hold our hand, we scoop them up and carry them.We don't get angry with them if we have to carry them because it is just a part of our job. We protect our kids from danger...that's just what we do, without thinking, without judgement, without irritation {unless they are making a huge scene.} Even during their rebellion, we are in control of the situation and our intense love for them compels us to protect them.

Yesterday, Preslie and I were walking into Lowe's and I said, "Hold my hand, or I'm gonna have to carry you," and [of course, like toddlers do] she pulled away from me shaking her head and doing that little dance of rebellion with her feet, so I scooped her up and planted her on my hip. In that sweeping motion I got the strangest feeling that it was a divine moment. It hit me that God had something to say to me through this simple interaction with my baby girl. He helped me to see that He kind of works the same way with us in the parking lot that is our life. He says, "Hold My hand, or I'm gonna have to carry you," and when I rebel like the spiritual toddler I am, He scoops me up and carries me, because I am His child. With no irritation or disappointment, He carries me through tough situations. With little or no effort put forth by myself, He is in control...protecting me, carrying me where He knows I need to go, even with me kicking and screaming sometimes. Even in my rebellion, He is sovereign.

I was talking to my sister today about how a while back I felt like I had an epiphany that I was in my spiritual adolescence before we were taken out to the desert. I was pretty content with my life, the roles I was playing as wife, mother, ministry partner, & mentor. I felt like I had it all together and that I had a lot of wisdom to offer the world. Just like a teenager, I knew it all and if you were lucky, I might share some of my advice with you. Then, I hit that wall of humility when I was alone with no sphere of influence and no clear direction of where I was going. It took me getting alone, 'feeling alone,' and crying out to God for Him to show me who I really am in Him and for me to realize where pride had taken me. It was during that time that I know God was carrying me because with no real effort on my own part, He led us out of the desert back into ministry and a fuller life than I could ever imagine. Even when I had rebelled and tried to do it all on my own, He scooped me up and carried me. I guess I knew it at the time, but I kind of felt like He was up there shaking His mighty head at me, irritated with my strong will and thinking, "When is she ever going to learn that holding my hand is the only way to be safe in this life?"

He doesn't get irritated with me when He has to carry me any more than I get irritated with my precious Preslie. I think I over estimated when I said I had been through my "spiritual adolescence." I am still a child, fresh out of the toddler phase...{teenagers and toddlers really do have a lot in common, if you think about it, but teenagers are a little more sophisticated in their rebellion} I am just a kid, a girl who feasted on spiritual milk for a long time and then thought she could do it "all by herself." I have finally come to a place where I realize that I know very little and that the only way to make it through this parking lot is to hold His hand or jump into His arms to be carried if I am weak or afraid. I know enough to know that my control freak nature is rebellion at its worst and clinging to Him is my only hope. That's all I need to know. I am so thankful to be a child of God...I shutter to think where I would be without Him.

So thankful....so thankful.

The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

 The Lord gives his people strength.
He is a safe fortress for his anointed king.
 Save your people!
Bless Israel, your special possession.
   Lead them like a shepherd,
and carry them in your arms forever.

Psalm 28:7-10