[Remember when life was simple and you were only handed one problem to deal with at a time...one financial burden, one major life event like a move, a new (to you) house, a death in the family, a birth, a wedding, a graduation, a break-up, a lay-off, starting a new job...]
I accidentally glanced down at the waves as I drove to the church for a women's ministry meeting last Sunday with a brand new $450 window air conditioner for the bungalow in back seat and a very extensive grocery list on the dash. I choked back the tears as I thought of the upcoming financial burdens we will face over the next few weeks...Our portion of James' dad's funeral expenses, the rotten floor and toilet that needs to be replaced upstairs, ongoing repairs to this old house, and the unknown, unexpected things that will pop in the future because they always do. I choked up for just a moment and then I smiled.
I smiled as I remembered how faithful God has been to take care of us and provide all of our needs. I almost laughed as I realized that any one of those expenses I mentioned would have thrown me for a loop as a young adult, young in my faith and immature because of my sheltered life circumstances. Back when I'd run to my parents or grandparents if I felt the smallest bit of adult responsibility and the first sting that it brings. It really is true that the more you overcome through faith ,the more faith you have, and the more hope in the future that everything is going to be okay. When you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and refuse to focus on your circumstances all things are possible.
I always think of Peter when the storms rage around us. Peter walked on water through his faith in Jesus...He asked for the power to do it and Christ called him out there with Him, and he did it. He was walking on the water {in a storm, no less} until he looked at the wind and the waves around him and he sank. To this, Jesus replied, "You have so little faith. Why did you doubt me?" If Peter would have fixed his gaze on Christ, believed that He was in control and refused to focus on the storm, his story would've been different. (Aren't you thankful for the humanity of the disciples, that allows us to relate with and learn from them?)
As I look back over the past few years, the list of significant life events we have experienced is overwhelming...leaving a job, moving across country, having a baby, changing jobs, moving a total of 3 times in Arizona, depleting our life savings to virtually nothing just to get by, almost losing my mom to a ruptured spleen, then moving back across country, starting a new job in ministry, and losing a parent. Each of these things {individually}are on the list of major life events that carry a great deal of stress and impact someone's life in a major way and we experienced all of them in a very short amount of time.
God brought us through all of it, drawing us closer to Himself and one another and growing us in unimaginable ways. As a family, our faith was strong, and we were not overcome by the waves. Sure, we each had our individual moments where we looked at the waves and had freak out sessions, but thankfully, {by the grace of God, I am sure} we never had those moments at the same time. When I was panicking and sinking, James was there to lift me up, encourage and remind me that God was in control. When James was heavy with discouragement, I was able to hold up a candle in the darkness and help him see the Light. If He could do that for us and in us over the past few years, what we are facing right now in the next few weeks is small potatoes. We have God and we have one another. Our marriage is strong and our family is close. These financial waves ain't nothing but a thing. Our Jesus is bigger than our circumstances and He will always, always take care of us.
I wouldn't trade what we've been through and the assurance {hope & faith} our experiences have given us for all the money in the world! There are plenty of folks out there who may never struggle financially, and have planned their lives accordingly, yet their marriages are broken or they are far from God.
Give me a tight budget and a strong marriage over that any day if that is what it takes to keep us dependent on God and one another! Maybe one of these days we will have an over-abundance of money and looser budget...May we be faithful with what He provides and use it for His glory.
