Here she is all gangsta in her stocking cap throwing up signs. Could she be any more of a pixie? Those huge eyes! She is gonna be trouble...oh wait, she already is! Boy is she worth it, though!
Ever since we got here, Lucy has had such a hard time going to her class at church. She usually has fun once she settles down, but it has been painfully hard at times to leave her in there. It seems like this move has impacted her the most because she doesn't quite understand what is going on. She is a little more clingy than usual and she is never far from her blanket. The first few weeks, she pretty much laid on our bed watching Charlotte's Web on repeat. When we were packing to move, she thought that everything we packed was stuff we were giving away. It wasn't until we got here and started unpacking that she put it together that this was our new home. So, we have been really patient with her and she seems to be pretty close to her silly little self again. Because she seemed to be lightening up at home, we were hoping that she'd come out of this church phobia thing on her own. Sunday morning, when we were getting ready for church, she followed me around from room to room saying, "I don't want to go to my class at church. Momma, I want to stay home. Let's not go today. Momma, Momma, I don't want to go to class." Over and over and over. I was trying to take Kevin Leman's advice about walking away and ignoring, but she just became more and more persistent. Finally, I thought to myself, we need to pray through this thing. {Why wasn't that my first response?}
So I got down on her level and held her little hand and we prayed. We prayed for God to help her want to go to class, for Him to calm her fears and let her know that He was with her. We prayed that she'd be able to go right in without crying and join the other kids with no resistance.
{the previous week James had to pry her little hands off the door frame while she was screaming, "Let me outta here! Let me outta here!" and walk to her seat with her staying for a few minutes until she calmed down.} So when we got to church as I walked her to her class, I was ready for another scene. Funny thing is, she just walked right in, turned to me with a big smile and waved. "Bye bye, Mommy," she said with no tears, no resistance, nothing. When we picked her up she was so proud of herself and she went on and on about how much fun class was. So, of course I told her how proud I was of her. At the time I had totally forgotten about our prayer. So later in the day I remembered and ran to get Lulu. I sat her down and reminded her of the prayer we prayed and together we thanked God. I asked her how she felt knowing that God had answered her prayer and by the look in her great big eyes, I could tell that a light bulb had turned on for the first time. God had answered her prayer.
So, that brings me back to the question, why did it take us a month to pray about this? Why wasn't prayer our first response? I have a friend in Phoenix who I adore that challenges me when it comes to prayer. In her life, prayer IS her first response. We'd be on a playdate and her son would get hurt and her first response was always to pray with him. She once shared a story with me about praying with her son over his anxiety about going to the dentist. That particular day, God answered her son's prayer and he went to the dentist with no resistance, big smile on his face. When I was concerned about whether or not we would be able to find a Christian family to rent our home in Phx because it is against the law to advertise according to religious preference, she is the one who said to me, "Have you been praying for God to bring you a Christian family?" We hadn't done that yet. We immediately did and boy, did he answer that prayer quickly!
In certain situations, I do fall to my knees in prayer as a first response, but really, my life is compartmentalized. Some issues don't seem like God issues and I try to work them out in my own efforts only turning to Him when I've tried everything else. I know that He cares for every area of my life and that I can come to Him with anything and He will walk me through it.
I am just a stubborn control-freak sometimes and I hold way too tightly to the reins of my life until my circumstances pry my white-knuckled fingers away and I have to give them back to God.
(He is the one who really holds the reins anyway...who am I kidding?
I am just like a little child sitting on my Daddy's lap pretending I am steering the wagon,
when all along His hands are gripping them far above my own.)
I truly want my children to develop the habit of going to God first in all things. Peggy used to say to us in ladies' bible study fairly often, "Where do you go first when you have a problem? Do you go to the phone or do you go to the Throne?" I want my kiddos to go to the Throne, even before they come to their Momma for advice. It's another one of those things that is caught more than taught, so here I am adding it to the lists of habits I am going to practice myself until they become second nature...just like Eucharisteo.
Thank you, Lord, for answering my baby's prayer, and even at 3 beginning to develop her faith in You!
