We are still dealing with poor little Lucy's tummy issues. After a trip to the urgent care last Wednesday, where they told us it was a virus {once again}, Lucy continued to lay around, refuse to eat more than a bite of toast, moan, and be up half the night wanting to snuggle or be held. This thing she is dealing with is obviously not a virus since NONE of the rest of us have gotten it. We do have a cold, but no tummy issues. None of us got the "virus" she had in October either. I understand that doctors diagnose based on what they see at the time, so I am not blaming the doctors, but this Momma knows when something more is going on with her baby.
So, on Friday, I took her to Mendy's Place at John C Lincoln hospital. It is a children's ER and they have some of the best pediatric specialists in the area on staff. They X-rayed Lucy's belly and said she was severely constipated and probably withholding for fear that it would be as painful as the time in October (that was emotionally scarring for all of us). They gave her an enema and a catheter to check for a bladder infection and she finally went some in her diaper, providing a little relief. It was so hard for me to see her go through that traumatic experience knowing it would further complicate the constipation and potty training issues. The doctor said to stop all potty training for at least a couple of months or it would be even worse. We have to give her laxatives for a few months so that she never has pain when going and eventually she will not withhold out of fear. Saturday was her 3rd birthday, and I have no pictures. Because she was feeling so icky we didn't do anything.
Fast forward to today, Monday...she is still laying on the couch, moaning and wanting to be held. She was up much of the night once again last night. I don't know what to do for my baby. I try to get her to eat fruit and veggies or oatmeal and to drink her juice with miralax mixed into it, but she just wants to have a bite or a sip and then just be held. She refuses to go in her diaper, even though she feels the urge, so just a tiny bit leaks out every once in a while. I'd just hold her all of the time if it would make her better, but she is going to have to do her part in order for her tummy to feel normal so she can get back to her usual joyful self...as hard and as scary as it is, she needs to do what I am asking her to do. I will help her and hold her when she is in pain, but to come out of this, she has to move past her fear and take a few steps toward healing.
Maybe it is because I am a teacher and in my busy (sometimes annoying) brain I can turn almost anything and everything into a teachable moment, but I am still seeing this whole situation with her as a metaphor for our relationship with our Heavenly Father. I can recall several times in my life when I was desperate for God, but I just wanted to be held. I just wanted Him to hold me and brush the hair out of my eyes and reassure me that everything would be okay. Even when He had held me and steadied me and given me instructions for moving forward, I just wanted to cling to Him and stay in that place where I felt safe and warm...My situation wasn't getting better because I was paralyzed, but I just needed a little more time. Once I stepped out in obedience and proceeded (hand-in-hand) with Him by my side, hope returned and I started to see that I was going to be okay...or even better than okay.
Child, I love you so much and I only want what is best for you. If you'd just do what I am asking you to do, I promise I will be right there with you, and things will get better...Trust me.
