Being a Mom can be hard. There is no getting around it. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I seriously sail along through motherhood for a few weeks or months without feeling like it is hard and then I will go through a few days or weeks where I just don't know if I am up for the task. I have experienced moments that are TRULY difficult, like childbirth, or like making decisions about elective surgery for Shelby's eyes and waiting for her to wake up from surgery. Or, driving Jesse to the E.R. because he fell off a play car on to his head. Or, waiting to see if Lucy's horrible reaction to cashews would totally close up her little throat like it had already closed up her eyes and caused huge welts all over her skin while waiting for the epi-shot to kick in.
But, truthfully, the times when I feel like being a Mom is hardest are simply the times when they get in the way of what "I" want to do. The more I focus on myself the further south my attitude goes when it comes to my kids. Just telling it like it is here...
Sometimes,
When I want to sleep in and they get up earlier than ever, it is hard.
When I want to have a quiet and peaceful dinner and they complain and argue, it is hard.
When I see other women buying new clothes and heading off to work where they are affirmed and PAID, it is hard.
When I want to post something on my blog and they decide to trash the house, it is hard.
When I want to talk to a friend on the phone and they eat everything in the cupboard, it is hard.
When I just want to spend a day vegging out and they "NEED" my attention (because they are 7 & under after all), it is hard.
When I want to stroll leisurely through Target and they are screaming or asking for everything in the store, it is hard!
So, basically, if I choose to, I can think of my every moment in my life as a Momma as "HARD!" {Name for me one worthwhile cause or occupation that is easy.}
I have found that in most situations, motherhood included, accepting and more importantly, EMBRACING my current reality makes a huge difference in my attitude and my satisfaction with my life.
The more I think about what "I" could be doing, or what "part of me" wants to be doing instead of mothering, the more I feel like being a Mom is just plain hard. I even start to resent my kids for being kids and feel trapped. I contemplate what I could be doing if I stuck them all in school and daycare. I can even start to fantasize about what we could do with the extra money I would be bringing in.
On the other hand, when I embrace that this is my God-given part to play in life and notice the rewards that come from doing it well, mothering is just what I do, and who I am. I am able to see that it is a privilege to spend these few short years with my children. I see the honor in partnering with God & my husband to shape them into who He created them to be. I actually LOVE and ENJOY what I do. I don't feel trapped at all. I feel free because I have been given this incredible gift and opportunity and I am FREE to choose how I use it. I am a passionate and creative person and I can be passionate and creative with my parenting. I can be as intentional in what I do with them as I would in any job, art project, healthy menu planning, blog posting, or any other interest I pursue.
Sure, there will be no worldly accolades or pats on the back.
No one may ever even notice me or what I do with my role as a Mother.
I will not win any rewards or make a lot of money.
And I will probably never be popular and have lots of friends.
But, My Father in Heaven who gave these precious children to me will be glorified through my simple embrace of the role He has placed me in. I will please Him and put a smile on His face. My home will be a safe haven full of joy where my husband and my kids WANT to be. My kids will know that they are valuable and they are worth it. I will be proud of the way I spend my time and fall asleep satisfied at the end of the day.
The truth is, being a stay-at-home Mom is my reality. Whether I choose to embrace or resent this fact it remains true. 95% of the time I embrace it and I can honestly say that I do love being a Mom. The other 5% of the time, when I feel like being a Mom is really hard and I want to throw up my hands, I can usually point to some very specific areas in my life where I have become selfish and started focusing more on my own wants and needs than my loved ones.
The irony of selfishness...focusing on MY needs and wants for a change!, like the world will tell Moms to do...is that it usually breeds more dissatisfaction than the satisfaction it promises. Balance is the key for me. I take time for myself (by myself) every day, and I have a few hours kid free outside of the house each week. Here and there I make space to remember that my wants and needs are important too and I nurture myself. But, in order for me to have joy in my position and make an impact in my world, there is no place for selfishness. Basically, I just need to "get over myself!"
The second part of that irony is that the more I focus on glorifying God {rather than myself} in all I do{including mothering}, the more joy and peace I have on a consistent basis. {Oh, and as an added bonus, my home just so happens to be filled with joy as well.}
Go figure.
